What don’t you like about yourself?

Have other people told you what you consider to be negative things about you? Like you are: too outspoken, too blunt, insensitive, too sensitive, loud, too soft-spoken, opinionated, wishy washy, a people pleaser, aloof, picky, a door mat? I think it is fair to say we have all been criticized by someone. Some of us are more prone to take it to heart and create that something is wrong with us. If that is you, please read on!

It is human nature to want to have other people like us, to be accepted, and feel like we belong. We are hardwired to be connected to each other. If you look across cultures, countries, sexes, races you will find this to be a universal truth. In fact, belonging is one of the most important experiences of being a human being. People belong and experience joy in belonging to religions, political parties, families, professional organizations, companies, etc. When we experience belonging, we experience being accepted. And that feels good.

When we feel criticized, we experience being rejected, not approved of and in some way, being distanced from belonging. That does not feel good. When we experience being rejected, or somehow not approved of, we often compromise in order to get back in the belonging/accepted category once again. When that happens, what we give up is owning ourselves.

Often, in my coaching practice, I talk to people about being yourself. You are ok, just the way you are. It is against our nature to let yourself be ok with being criticized or this feeling of not belonging. Here is the thing, that is critical to getting what I am saying and applying it to your life: You absolutely cannot please everyone. Really. Like myself- some people love that I am bold and outspoken. I am a leader. I am admired for that. I get noticed for that. That feels good. Some people think I am too loud, arrogant and annoying and may even be intimidated by me. That feels bad. What I have learned and am committed to you getting- whatever way you are, some people will like and admire you for it, and some people will not like or admire you for that very same thing. Stop trying to please everyone. It is literally impossible.

Start being you, fully. Be boldly you, whatever that looks like. It is attractive when you are simply settled and comfortable in your own skin. You will be confident, comfortable and you will belong where you do. Boldly go into life, with all your greatness and embrace who you are. I appreciate you, as you are.