If you are not a little (or a lot!) manic at this time of year, you are unusual. Walk into a store, read the Sunday ads, watch TV, attend holiday parties…. Lots of frenetic activity going on. Then there is the planning… holidays with families, food preparation, wrapping presents, sending cards. It is crazy making.

 

What can you do? Here are my tips for managing the holiday stress of the season?

• If you create a plan, stick to the plan, you won’t experience that panic or frantic experience of bouncing from one thing to another.
  • When are you shopping? What are you buying? What is your budget?
    • Sticking to the plan of how much you are spending, what you are getting and the when of it all, will give you a sense of peace.
  • Plan your participation. There are so many parties, activities and invitations–personal, family and related to work; it can be overwhelming.
    • Decide how much you want to do, and then weigh the importance of the invitations and only attend those that are important to you.
  • Plan what you are going to cook, indulge in and you won’t suffer guilt or the effects of over-indulging.
• Manage expectations
  • I find this is the most critical step to reducing stress in the holiday season.
  • We often build up expectations, and when we do that, given expectations are in our minds (vs. an agreement with someone else), we are frequently disappointed and in some way, upset.
    • You often want them to be different. I know I do. Here is the most important thing: They are the way they are. Your uncle may talk too much. Your sister may be selfish. Your “fill in the blank” may be too drunk, loud, ungrateful, etc. And then you wish they would be different. They are not. They are the way they are and if you don’t build up false ideals of how you think they should be, you will simply enjoy them for who they are.
    • Our gift recipient’s reactions to the gifts we give them. I know you may have shopped for that perfect gift and could not wait to give it to “Sue/John, or whomever”. You are filled with excitement. They open that very special gift…. They say “Thank you, I like it.” You are crushed- you wanted them to have a more spectacular reaction. You are disappointed and upset. If you manage the joy was in your experience of buying the gift, you will be fulfilled, regardless of how they react.
    • Meals, parties and actual celebrations. This one used to get me big time. I would plan out the meal, work very hard on cooking it and want people to LOVE what I cooked. They ate but did not go over the top with excitement and often the meal was just done, I was let down. I manage my expectations now and derive my joy from the preparation and the fact that they eat it!

Life doesn’t look like Hallmark cards for the vast majority of us. Remember that.

Embrace the reality of the season and being around your friends and family, in all their glorious imperfection. Enjoy each moment for the reality of what it is. A moment in time. Don’t stress, as this too shall pass. Happy Holidays!