In May of last year, my husband and I became empty nesters and decided to downsize our home of 18 years. It was bittersweet.  There was completing an era of our lives- we raised our youngest daughter there, our oldest daughter was married there, we became grandparents there, we had many a celebration there and we enjoyed the lives and mourned the loss of our beloved dogs in that home. That house held all of our lives for 18 years and it served us well. And we were excited to move into a new chapter of our lives. So, off we went to search for the home that would hold this next chapter.

I have to admit- I am an HGTV junkie, so this was so fun for me! I spent many a day with my Realtor looking at homes that fit our criteria. We could not find “the one”, so we started looking at building again (this would be our 3rd time!). We looked at different builders and tons of plans. And we settled on a builder and a plan that the sales person assured us we could semi-customize for our needs. This was the honeymoon phase.  This is how it unfolded:

We walk into the beautifully staged model home, we picture ourselves there, we are so in love. The sales person tells us how great this builder is, how they are different in the industry as they care about making their customer happy and he used the word that won us over- this builder has integrity. (Integrity to me is you do what you said, when you said you would and in the way in which you said it. You are reliable and responsible. If you screw up, you own it and you fix it.) He said the process would take 7 months.  We signed that contract and we were “married”, with all the promise of a new future.

The honeymoon was on. Like a marriage, there is what you imagine, fantasize will happen and  then there is reality —-and often they don’t meet.  (By the way, I have a great marriage.)  Back to the building process and what we learned- it did not take long to wake up to reality. The start date kept getting delayed- they had lots of good excuses, but reality was the start did not happen when they said it would. Hmmm, integrity?!  We are mature and seasoned in building a home, so we rolled with it. Like you often do when you are in love and reality  hits– say, it will be ok and just move on.

The entire process can be summed up in this: Excuses, reasons, circumstances are NOT a substitute for integrity.

The reality of what was sold to us was empty. I am not saying we don’t have a great home. The product is great. The home is beautiful. However, the reality of how this house got built  and the way they operated lacked integrity. More times than not,  they not only did not do what they said by when they said it and in the manner in which they said it but they made major mistakes and made excuses. They never owned up to it and were straight about it. We woke up to reality.

Just like in a relationship or in a business, when what you promise and what you deliver do not match, there is a profound and lasting impact. And if you don’t take responsibility for it and correct the mistakes-the relationship is permanently damaged. If it is in a marriage, this can lead to divorce. If it is in a business, this can lead to a damaged reputation and a loss of income, both current and future.

When you are in a business or have a job- stuff happens. Things go wrong. There will be times when you will not deliver what you said, when you said you would. The key here is to own up to what happened and do whatever you need to do to make up for it. If you are in communication with anyone who is impacted by the mistakes or failure to deliver, are honest and work with them to make up for the impact of whatever happened- your business, your reputation will stay intact. You will be known as someone with integrity. And integrity matters!